


Unconditionally

by constellationskies, LilacChocolate



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anal Sex, Eventual Smut, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pliroy, eventual Dd/Lb, partial slow burn?, slight angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2018-09-17 23:02:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 20,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9350120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/constellationskies/pseuds/constellationskies, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilacChocolate/pseuds/LilacChocolate
Summary: JJ, unable to ignore his feelings for Yuri anymore, ends his engagement, but will the fiery Russian tiger return his feelings?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> (Yuri is 15 at the start of the story but will be 16 before anything remotely sexy will happen)

Tongues battled for dominance as a hand made its way into his hair giving it a light pull as the other pulled on the shirt that clung to his lovers back. A soft moan escaped his lips as once his lover began kissing his neck, softly biting and sucking on his sweet spot. JJ put his hands on Yuri's ass and picked him up with his back against the wall. Yuri quickly wrapped his legs around JJ's waist bringing him closer and feeling his cock against his. JJ gasped as he felt his cock meet Yuri's and let a low growl out. JJ moved him to the bed and quickly removed his shirt before climbing on top of Yuri and...

* beep beep*

JJ was startled from his sleep as his alarm continued to go off before he hit the off button. He dragged a hand down his face, rubbing the tiredness away from his eyes and laid in bed trying to bring his breathing back to normal. It wasn't the first time he's had a wet dream and it most certainly wasn't the first time he had a wet dream where Yuri was involved. At first, he was extremely freaked out because Yuri was his rival and he had never seen him as something more than an acquaintance. He didn't know what it meant and some days, he still doesn't know what it means but he's come to realize that he may harbor some feelings for the Russian fairy.

When Jean decided to accept his feelings, he didn't know what to do with the newfound information since he had a fiancé whom was his best friend and one he still loved very much. He had felt rather conflicted when he decided to accept his crush on Yuri but it still didn't feel right to him. Yuri still wasn't of age and secondly he felt like he was cheating on Isabella by accepting his feelings toward him. He sometimes found himself staring at Yuri for no reason which often resulted in Yuri telling him off and calling him strange. JJ just laughed and would go back to doing whatever he was doing in the moment. It still didn't stop him from looking at him from the corner of his eye as he saw his crush talk with Yakov, Viktor, Yūri or Otabek. He always felt a surge of jealousy well up inside him whenever he saw him interact with someone who wasn't him. There wasn't much he could do about it either since he was still engaged.

After laying in bed for ten minutes more, he gave up on trying to prevent any more blood to flow down south, put his phone to charge and decided to take care of the situation while he showered. He turned the water on cold, stripped out of his clothes and stepped inside. The water pressure was perfect to soothe his back muscles and help bring down his problem. After twenty minutes of showering, JJ stepped out and wrapped a white towel around his waist before proceeding over to his vanity table and began moisturizing his skin before walking over to his closet to get dressed.

With one last look in the mirror, JJ disconnected his phone and walked down to meet Isabella in the lobby to go out and get some breakfast before going to the venue for one last rehearsal for the free skate. He stepped into the elevator and saw that Isabella has messaged him to let him know she was already waiting in the lobby for him. He smiled at the text but felt his heart ache because he knew it couldn't continue on like this anymore. He knew the conversation he would have with Isabella wouldn't be easy but it needs to be done.

 

* * *

 

Isabella saw the elevator doors open and saw JJ step out of them looking pensive. In the past, Isabella would've questioned it but now she grew accustomed to it. She knew something had changed with JJ and had decided to give him some time to sort it out. Inside, it hurt that he wasn't confiding in her like before but she knew that eventually he would open up to her about whatever it was. She had gone through every possible thing that could be bothering him and was even ready in case they broke up. Isabella just hoped that they could remain best friends if that were to happen. She couldn't imagine her life without her best friend by her side. "Ready to go? There's this cafe Otabek and Yuri went to the other day that I really want to try." Isabella spoke, giving him a hug.

The scowl JJ showed didn't go unnoticed by Isabella. After that, she had come to conclusion that whatever was troubling JJ had to do with one of them. She began wondering and looking back to anything that might've happened in the past few months for JJ to act weird around them. Yuri kept calling everyone stupid and ran from his adoring fans not wanting to stick around for photos, the only thing that's changed with him is he now has Otabek, who he could confide in so why would JJ scowl at the mention of both their names? She's also noticed that JJ has been trying to talk with Yuri more and more and staring at him from afar some more. Could it possibly-

JJ waved a hand in front of her face, "Isabella, are you here on Earth? We're in front of the cafe but it's closed today. Do you want to try a different cafe?"

Isabella quickly shook her head as they walked back to the venue. "I'm okay with waiting till later, I can just get something from the vending machine or some food they give you before your performance so it's not a big deal. Anyways, would you mind if I asked you some questions?"

JJ was taken aback, she never had to ask that before. He supposed he shouldn't have been that astonished either since he knew this conversation was going to come up sometime soon. He took a deep breath before answering, "you don't need to ask if you can ask questions. Just ask them, Isabella."

Isabella lightly laughed, "fair enough, all right. Have you developed a crush on someone else?"

"Yes."

"Do I know them?"

"Not on a personal level, but yes."

"Is it Otabek?"

"No."

"Is it Yuri?"

JJ's stomach did a light flip at the mention of his name. "Yes, I've developed a crush on Yuri. And before you ask anymore questions, let me tell you, accepting these feelings for him wasn't easy for me. When I first realized it, I was torn and mad at myself. I argued daily with myself and wondered how could I like someone else when I have an amazing fiancé but the answer was simple. People can't really help it, we often like who we like and it happens naturally. It's not something one can control and it took me a while to even be able to face myself in the mirror. It felt like I was cheating on you emotionally, and I realize now that I was~ am. I'm sorry."

Isabella stopped walking and smiled at JJ. "You have nothing to be sorry about JJ. The heart wants what it wants and if you want to be with him then go and see if he feels the same way about you and be with him if he does. I don't want you to be wasting my time at missing an opportunity to find someone who'll look at me the way you've been looking at him lately. I want us to still be friends though, so can we?" "Do you even have to ask? Of course! I don't want you to miss the chance to find happiness with someone else. I'm sorry that it can't be with me, but I wouldn't be where I am today if I didn't have the support of my best friend by my side." Isabella laughed as tears sprung to her eyes, of course the end of their engagement hurt, but she knew JJ. JJ wouldn't have been happy if he had been forced to stay with someone just to make others happy. He wasn't the kind of person to hold others back from finding happiness but she was happy that they still remained best friends.

 

* * *

 

Yuri was getting his things into his bag after winning a gold medal at the Canada free skate when he heard a soft knock on the door. Annoyed, he stomped over about to tell the person to go away when he noticed JJ was outside with a bouquet of roses. Yuri was perplexed at the image before him, his mouth slightly agape as he stared unbelievable at JJ.

"Close that mouth sweetie, otherwise a fly will fly inside."

"Gross, and why are you in front of my dressing room, shouldn't you be celebrating with your fiancé on winning Bronze and doing kissy faces at each other?" replied Yuri.

JJ rubbed his chin before responding, "well if we were together still, we would be but we're not. We broke up this morning but we're still best friends so that hasn't changed. And, who says I'm not gonna go out with her to celebrate later? I just wanted to stop by and hand these beautiful bouquet of red roses to the cutie who stole my heart with his performance tonight. I was really impressed with your presentation and how you landed all those moves gracefully and with elegance. You should coach me someday." JJ winked and pressed a few kisses onto Yuri's cheeks leaving him a speechless and a blushing mess.

"I'm gonna be leaving now so try not to miss me to much, okay? We'll talk again soon." With those parting words, JJ winked and blew him a kiss opening and closing the door behind him.

"Huh?!" Was the only word Yuri's brain could form.

 

* * *

 

Yuri was walking through the airport with Mila as his brain kept replaying the entire scene that had happened in his dressing room only moments earlier. Yuri's touched the side of the face that JJ kissed several times cause he could swear he still felt the soft and warm lips press against his cheeks. He had also began wondering what the heck was up with JJ and what did he mean when he said he was no longer with Isabella. "Why had he kissed me? Did he intentionally flirt with me? Why?" Yuri had so many questions he wanted to ask JJ but his behavior in the dressing room left him very shocked.

"Yuri! You're not even listening to me, have you heard to a word I've said since we arrived to the airport? You haven't, have you? Can you stop-"

"Mila, shut up and let me rest."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The skaters arrive in Rostelecom.

When the Rostelecom Cup began, Yuri was the first to arrive at the hotel. Or, so he thought. He strode into the hotel, flanked by Mila, Georgi, Yakov, and Lila, but the Russian fairy stopped walking when he saw JJ walking from the foyer and towards the entrance of the hotel. He was on his phone with headphones in and didn’t see Yuri at first, but he as he got nearer to him, the Canadian looked up and grinned at the sight of Yuri.

Yuri was all JJ had been able to think about since Skate Canada, and even thought the split from Isabella had been amicable and they had remained friends, he had been feeling down lately. But not anymore. He bounded towards Yuri, ignoring the rest of the Russian team as they carried on walking to the reception.

‘Did you miss me so much that you stopped walking, Yuri?’ JJ asked, slipping into his flirtatious tone with a smirk.

‘No,’ Yuri scowled. But JJ was almost right. Ever since JJ’s strange behaviour in his changing room at Skate Canada, teamed with the knowledge of JJ’s break up from his fiancée, as well as him kissing his cheek and bringing him flowers, Yuri had found his thoughts drifting to the Canadian every so often. JJ had teased him plenty of times before, but he had never flirted with him until Skate Canada. And here he was, doing it again, in the entrance of a hotel in Rostelecom. ‘Why would I have been thinking about you?’

JJ’s smirk widened and he stepped closer to Yuri. ‘Because I’m handsome and irresistible.’ Then JJ leaned in, his nose almost brushing against Yuri’s cheek. ‘I wonder if your cheek is still as soft as it was when I kissed it in Canada…’

Yuri’s breath caught in his throat. He wasn’t sure what was going on. He didn’t even like JJ, right?

‘Yurio!’

JJ moved away from the small Russian and his smirk changed to a small smile when he saw Viktor running into the hotel. Yuri turned around just as Viktor wrapped his arms around him.

‘Yurio! I’m so proud of you! You did so well at Skate Canada!’

Yuri was still in shock from JJ’s flirting that he didn’t push Viktor away or berate him for calling him Yurio. He just stood there and let the older Russian hug him.

Viktor pulled away and grinned, but it faded when he saw the vacant look on Yuri’s face. ‘What’s wrong, Yurio?’

‘He’s fine,’ JJ said as he stepped forwards. ‘I’ll see you later, Yuri. I’ve got training to do. Keep those cheeks soft for me.’ He winked then jogged out the door.

Viktor’s turquoise eyes narrowed and Yūri came through the door, pulling two suitcases behind him. He was smiling, but when he saw the look on the two Russian’s faces, he frowned. ‘Is everything alright? Yurio, we know you don’t like PDA, so if it’s about that kiss at the Cup of China-’

‘JJ was flirting with him,’ Viktor said, eyes still narrowed.

Yūri looked at Yuri’s facial expression. His eyes were blank and he didn’t look pissed off at all. Maybe JJ really had been flirting with him. But it wouldn’t be good to tell Viktor that: Yūri knew how protective as boyfriend felt about the young Russian. ‘He was probably just teasing him like usual. Come on, let’s go and get checked in.’

Viktor’s eyes returned to their usual self and he followed his boyfriend to the reception. Yuri followed them, still in a daze as he pulled his suitcase behind him.

* * *

 

At the ice rink, JJ wasn’t rehearsing his routine or even practising his quads. Rather, he skated aimlessly around the ice, making patterns with the blades on his shoes as he did laps. He didn’t want to fool himself anymore: he definitely had feelings for Yuri. The time they had been apart between Skate Canada and the Rostelecom Cup had given JJ a lot of time to think and he realised his feelings for Yuri ran a lot deeper than he thought. The time he had spent denying his feelings for Yuri whilst he was engaged to Isabella had only made his feelings grow, and now that he had fully accepted them, he was surprised by how much he really did like the Russian skater.

But he was still conflicted. JJ knew how much Yuri hated him, even though JJ had stopped teasing him. But… Yuri could have interpreted his flirting as teasing, he supposed. JJ really needed to do something during the short programme tomorrow to prove to Yuri that he really wouldn’t tease him again. Maybe JJ should just hug him. JJ chuckled at the thought. If he hugged Yuri in front of all of those cameras, the Russian fairy would turn into the Russian punk and murder him with his ice skates.

‘JJ!’

The Canadian looked up and saw his mom at the side of the rink.

‘What is it?’ He shouted back.

‘Do some quads! You’ve got a competition tomorrow!’

JJ nodded and jumped straight into a single toe loop. Thinking about ways to win around Yuri’s heart would have to wait.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri asks questions and JJ gets ignored

_What's he even thinking? Who the heck does he think he is to kiss my cheek and why did I let him? I saw him lean in and kiss me but why did I let him and most importantly... why does my heart race at the thought of it possibly happening again? Wait... what?! I could not have just had that thought. Snap out of this Yuri, he's most likely doing this to psych his competition out. He knows I'm his main rival and he's just toying with me so I won't focus on my practice and the competition. Yeah, that must be it. JJ must be doing this as a way to prevent me from perfecting my moves for the competition._

 

"Yuri, if you keep day dreaming about me you're gonna hurt yourself." JJ whispered into Yuri's ears before skating off to continue practicing. Yuri scowled and glared daggers at JJ for saying something so ridiculous.

 

_Who does he think he is?!_

 

"You're not that special JJ."

 

"Oh, but I get to differ my little Russian fairy."

 

_Did he just say, "my?!"_

 

Yuri felt his face warm up.

 

He skated over to JJ and tugged on his sleeve. Yuri looked into JJ's eyes and noticed his eyes were smiling. He didn't like the feelings that erupted within him upon seeing JJ's eyes and smile. He began wondering what the feelings were when he noticed JJ arch an eyebrow and putting on his signature smile.

 

"Came to admire me? Cause I much prefer it be the other way around. I rather admire you closely, cause I think you're so beautiful."

 

Upon hearing that Yuri's blush deepened but he quickly masked it into a scowl.

 

"What's wrong with you? Are you some kind of idiot or something? Is this your way of psyching out your competition cause if it is, it's not funny. I don't like having someone toy with my head in this manner. I mean, one day you're with your fiancé, the next you're broken up and before I know it, you're flirting with me. Seriously, think about things before acting on impulse."

 

Yuri skated off before he could hear a response from JJ. JJ stood still with his mouth agape. Does his little Russian fairy truly think he's messing with him? He didn't even think of that before he had begun flirting with him. He felt sad after hearing that but he couldn't dwell much on it since he had to get back to practicing.

 

* * *

 

Yuri had just finished practicing his quads, jumps and spirals before he skated over to where Yakov was waiting. He knew there were still some things that needed to be worked on before the competition and this would be his only opportunity to perfect everything. 

 

Yakov handed him a bottle of water before he spoke, "Yuri, you're doing great but you still need to practice your salchows, spirals and toe loops a few more times. It seemed like you were having some difficulty going from a triple spiral into a quadruple toe loop. You'll need to get those down for your final routine."

 

Yuri nodded before he skated back off onto the ice. He went onto his iPod and selected a cover of "Sonata Reminiscenza, Op 38 No 1 in A minor" by Medtner and began to skate. He focused on his breathing and movements and had just done three spirals ready to go into the first toe loop when JJ's face appeared before him. He landed awkwardly and his face contorted into one of slight discomfort. He chose to ignore the light sting from his ankle and continued practicing not noticing the pair of eyes that had seen what happened.

 

_Why did his face flash before my eyes? I need to focus on my routine, not be picturing his face and his smile behind my eyelids. What's wrong with me? Maybe I could talk about this with someone but who?_

 

* * *

 

JJ had kept practicing while he kept an eye on his little Russian fairy. His eyes followed his movements as Yuri skated backwards and forwards, spiraled and jumped. His eyes didn't stray away from him for a second, he was so entranced by his flawless movements. JJ began wondering how he'd never notice that Yuri gets lost in his own world when he skates.

 

_How is it I just began noticing this? He does everything so graceful on the ice but when he's off the ice, it's like a firecracker. Why do you hide? What are you hiding?_

 

He began thinking back to what Yuri had told him earlier and he frowned. He knew Yuri was right, it would seem strange to anyone the way the events had occurred but he didn't stop to think about how it would look like from Yuri's eyes. He knew Isabella supported him and had even encouraged him to flirt with Yuri but if he were to ever want something more with him, he would need to try better.

 

In that moment he had seen Yuri land at an awkward angle and saw his face show some slight discomfort. He wondered if Yuri had accidentally sprained his ankle, he hoped he hadn't. JJ decided to skate over to where Yakov was and leaned his weight against the railing before speaking.

 

"Yakov, I think Yuri sprained his ankle. He should stop practicing and put some ice on it."

 

Yakov didn't appear to have heard him so he was about to repeat what he said when he noticed Yuri had finished his practice and was looking at him intently. JJ sighed and decided to skate away before telling Yakov once more to check Yuri's ankle afterwards. JJ knew he needed to talk to Yuri about his actions later, but how? Soon, he had an idea and skated into the changing rooms.

 

* * *

 

Yuri finished his practice when he noticed Yakov was looking at him and JJ seemed to be talking to him. He briefly wondered what they had been talking about when he saw the JJ was skating away. Still feeling some slight discomfort, he skated toward Yakov who handed him a power bar, water and told him to go get changed. He walked into the changing rooms and removed the skates lightly flinching at the pain.

 

The movement didn't go unnoticed by Yakov who immediately told him to sit and keep his leg elevated while he brought back an ice pack. Yuri heard him silently curse and raised his eyebrow. He wondered if he missed something during the time he was practicing but thought nothing more about it.

 

He picked up his bag to put away his training outfit and noticed a white piece of paper inside. On it, it read, "come to room 505 at 8 o' clock sharp."

 

Yuri thought it was strange but then began wondering who could've left the small piece of paper in his bag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I liked how it came out but I also feel it could've been better, what do you guys think?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri spends some time with JJ.

Yuri stood in front of room 505, hands stuffed in the pockets of his team jacket and plump bottom lip caught between his teeth. Who had put that note in his bag? Was it another skater? Maybe it was a member of the public who had managed to come into the rink. If that was true, were they going to hurt him if he went into this room? Yuri glanced around the empty hotel corridor. He hadn’t told anyone where he was going. No one would come looking for him until it would be too late. Yuri sighed and knocked on the door. He was too suspicious for his own good.

After only three seconds, the door was yanked open by JJ. He was smiling, eyes wide and bright. ‘I didn’t think you’d come.’

‘I nearly didn’t. I don’t usually respond to anonymous messages. But now that I know it’s just you, I can go.’ Yuri turned to walk away, but JJ grabbed his wrist before he could make more than two steps.

‘Did Yakov do something about your ankle?’ JJ asked.

Yuri shook his hand out of JJ’s hold. ‘How do you know about that?’

‘I told Yakov about it.’

Yuri narrowed his eyes. _JJ had told Yakov about his ankle?_

‘Yakov ignored me. He probably thought I was trying to sabotage your practice or something. Did you put any ice on it?’

The Russian skater shook his head. ‘Yakov told me to, but I haven’t done it yet.’

‘Come in and I’ll do it for you.’

Yuri scoffed. ‘I’ll do it myself.’

‘Yeah, course you will. More like you’ll go back to your room and not bother. Please, let me do it. I want you to skate well tomorrow.’

Yuri sighed and gave in. ‘Fine.’ And he entered JJ’s hotel room. Yuri had expected it to be messy, but there were no clothes strewn on the floor or any food wrappers on the desk. There was a suitcase open on the floor at the bottom of the bed, and JJ’s phone and laptop were charging on the bedside table. On the bed, bookmark haphazardly slotted between the pages, was a copy of _The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe._ ‘I didn’t know you could read.’

JJ laughed. The sound was clear and warm and it made Yuri want to smile, so he turned away so JJ couldn’t see his smile or the blush that rose to his cheeks.

‘Of course, I can read. My little brother and sister like me to read them stories, so I read the kind of books they like beforehand so I can do all of the different voices.’

Yuri nodded, a little dazed by how kind JJ was. Not that Yuri ever thought that JJ was mean. He’d just never thought of JJ like… that.

‘Sit on the bed and take off your shoes and socks,’ then JJ went over to the mini-fridge.

Yuri did as he said and took off his shoes and socks. When he saw the dark purple bruising around his ankle, he hissed: he didn’t realise how much it hurt until he saw it.

‘Here,’ JJ held out the ice packs and Yuri pressed it his ankle with another hiss.

‘Fuck…’

‘Will you be able to skate tomorrow?’ JJ asked as he knelt down in front of Yuri with the first aid kit.

‘Yeah. I just need to rest it.’

JJ nodded and took a bandage and a plaster out of the kit. ‘Put your foot on my thigh.’

Yuri did as he asked and kept his face hidden behind his hair. JJ’s thigh was firm beneath his small foot, and his hands were large but soft and warm as he took away the ice pack and wrapped the bandage around his ankle.

‘Thanks…’ Yuri muttered as JJ stuck the plaster to the end of the bandage and his leg.

Yuri reached down, planning on grabbing his shoes and socks so he could go, but JJ stopped him.

‘You need to rest. I’ll take you back to your room later. For now,’ JJ’s smile slipped back onto his face, ‘want to watch a movie with me?’

Yuri scowled. So this wasn’t about his ankle at all. ‘JJ-’

The Canadian held up his hands in surrender. ‘You said yourself that you need to rest your ankle. You may as well rest it here since the bandage is still fresh.’

‘It’s not that,’ Yuri said with folded arms. ‘Didn't you listen to me before?' Yuri said. He was trying to stay calm, but JJ just riled him up.

'Yes.' JJ looked at the floor and Yuri suddenly felt bad. 'I listened to you. I always listen to you. I'm not teasing you or trying to psyche you out or even annoy you. I know I seem like a player because I just broke up with Isabella, but I'm being serious with everything I say to you.'

Yuri felt like his heart had landed in his throat. What was JJ trying to say?

'Will you please watch a movie with me?' JJ asked, still looking at the floor.

'Fine. But don't you dare let me fall asleep in here.'

JJ looked up with a grin. 'Okay.' He stepped forwards, planning on lifting Yuri so he was sat by the headboard, but the Russian pushed him away.

'I can do it myself.' And Yuri scooted back towards the headboard.

JJ nodded and turned to the television. _Baby steps_. He was used to the person he liked falling for him almost as soon as he saw an interest in them. But Yuri wasn't everyone else and that only made JJ like him even more. He set up the film then went over to the fridge. 'Do you want anything to eat or drink?'

'Just some water, please.'

JJ got two bottles of water from the fridge then grabbed a packet of crisps from the desk. He went back to the bed and sat down with his back against the headboard but he made sure to leave a big enough space between them so he wouldn't annoy Yuri.

The movie started playing and Yuri sipped at his water occasionally, not really concentrating on the movie in favour of looking at JJ. He wasn't shuffling closer or trying to wrap an arm around Yuri, he was keeping his eyes focused on the screen and eating his crisps. Is this what JJ was really like? Calm with a cute puppy look? Wait, what? Yuri was glad that JJ wasn't looking at him because he would have seen his pink cheeks. As much as he liked this side of JJ, he wasn't used to it and wanted the cocky and playful JJ back. Yuri leaned closer to the Canadian and stole a crisp out of the bag.

JJ looked over at Yuri and raised his eyebrows when he saw how close they were now. He smiled and gave Yuri the packet, then got up to get himself another one. 'You could have just said you wanted some.'

'Hm...' Yuri gave no proper reply and carried on eating, stealing even more from JJ once he sat back on the bed. JJ just laughed and resisted his want to wrap an arm around Yuri.

Once the crisps and water were gone, the two skaters sat in a comfortable silence and watched the movie. When there was only half an hour left to go, Yuri felt his eyes beginning to droop close. He hadn't had to travel far to get to Rostelecom, which meant he'd done loads of extra training and was apparently more tired than he thought he was. But he couldn't fall asleep in JJ's room. But it was so warm… and smelt so nice…

JJ, who was enjoying the film, was slightly startled when he felt Yuri's head fall against his shoulder. He looked over at him and couldn't help the small smile that spread over his face: Yuri was so pretty half-asleep. His plump lips were set in a pout, strands of his hair fell down into his face, and his eyelashes fluttered in time with his breathing. 'Want me to take you back to your room?'

The tired fairy managed a small shake of his head. 'No... it’s warmer here... wanna stay...'

'But you said-'

'I know what I said.' Then Yuri started burrowing himself under the duvet. He was too tired to coordinate his body probably and he hissed when he moved his ankle.

JJ sprung into action and helped Yuri navigate the sheets and he helped him under the duvet.

Yuri gave him a small smile. 'Thank you for looking after me.’ Then he fell asleep.

JJ’s whole face went pink and his heart started beating faster. As much as he loved Yuri’s fiery personality, JJ knew that he would never be able to get enough of how sweet the Russian could be.

JJ switched off the film then went back over to the bed. He led down beside Yuri and watched as he slept. _So beautiful._ He wanted to kiss him or touch him or take a picture at the very least, but JJ knew that would be a massive betrayal of Yuri’s trust. He stayed led there for a few more moments, just watching, both men calm.

_I should go and lie down on the couch before I fall asleep here. Yuri would murder me if we slept together,_ JJ thought. He couldn’t stand it if Yuri fell out with him. _But just a few more moments… just a few… then I’ll go on the couch…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! Do you mind if you could all go and take a look at my blog? It's about destigmatising fan fiction and erotica and it's for my dissertation so it's kind of important. If you could leave a comment, I would appreciate it so so so so so so so much!
> 
> http://identity2017.blogspot.co.uk/
> 
> And it would also be awesome if you could fill out my questionnaire because I kinda need data to write about in my essay.
> 
> https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/LCH66LH
> 
> Thank you so much!
> 
> Lilac x


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri falls asleep and Viktor makes a visit

JJ woke up the next day to find Yuri's body wrapped around his in a tight manner. He noted that his face was beautiful even more up close. The way his eyelashes cast a shadow over his cheekbones, the long strands of hair softly resting against his face, a light tinge of pink coloring his cheeks from the warmth of the blanket, his lips lightly agape and soft breathing noises were heard. JJ swore right then and there that he'd never seen something more beautiful than that before. The beauty of Yuri's features were so breathtaking that JJ had to give himself more time to admire his beauty before allowing himself to lose the warmth that radiated from his body. He looked over at the clock and saw that it was 3 a.m.

 

"So much for going back to the couch after a few," he silently muttered. He didn't know how he was gonna detach himself from Yuri and if he was being honest with himself, he really didn't want to either not only for fear of waking Yuri up but also because he wanted to bask in the warmth that came from Yuri. JJ knew better than that though as he realized he still faced a few dilemmas.

 

Yuri had laid his head on top of JJ's shoulder, an arm wrapped around his torso while the other was hooked around his, his legs wrapped around JJ's left leg and Yuri just happened to be casually breathing against JJ's neck. On top of that, his left arm was falling asleep despite the fact that Yuri didn't weigh much. If he were to slowly pull his arm out from Yuri's hold, he'd immediately feel the blood rushing back down and cause a weird sensation he didn't enjoy but knew it was momentary and it had to be done.

 

First, he gently moved his body a bit slowly to allow Yuri's head fall onto the pillow for support instead of his shoulder. The sudden loss of feeling his breath against his neck made him sad, he was already missing the contact. JJ heaved a sigh before trying to pull his leg from between Yuri's but he saw that the angle they were in would brush against Yuri's crotch and he definitely didn't want that happening... _yet_. So, he decided to untangle his arms first. He stealthily unhooked Yuri's arm from his and immediately felt the blood rush back down. JJ lightly winced at the sensation before proceeding to remove his arm from his torso. He decided that was a wrong move since Yuri put his arm back over him and held onto him tighter.

 

"Dammit Yuri, you're not making this easy for me." JJ softly cursed in his head as the beat of his heart almost deafened his ears. JJ once more moved his arms from Yuri and repositioned himself as much as possible to prevent Yuri from holding onto hm tightly once more. He sat up and moved Yuri's leg slightly to the left to fully detach himself from Yuri's body and it worked. He had managed to remove himself and get up successfully till he heard a soft whimper from Yuri. Yuri's face had contorted into one of displeasure and it seemed like he was having a nightmare.

 

JJ leaned over the bed and placed a kiss against his temple and told him he'd be okay. He didn't need to worry about anything cause he'd always be by his side and after the words had left his mouth, Yuri's faced seemed content and happy. JJ smiled upon seeing his face smiling whilst he slept and moved his hair back over his ear. Carefully he tucked Yuri more into the blanket before he walked over to his luggage to get a blanket to lay down on the couch.

 

He fluffed the couch pillow and laid on his side before throwing the blanket over himself. He tried closing his eyes but sleep wasn't coming to him anymore. JJ ran a hand over his hair and took a deep breath before attempting to fall asleep again but as soon as his eyes closed, an image of Yuri popped up in his head. A small smile graced his lips and he sat up and looked over at the young boy who laid in bed before him.

 

"You've got me falling so hard for you Yuri, you can't even begin to imagine it."

 

He looked over at the clock and saw it was almost 5 am. "No use falling back asleep now," he said. Silencing his phone alarm, JJ walked over to the closet and got his equipment ready. After he got all his things ready, JJ glanced over at Yuri and walked toward him. He noted the way his stomach softly rose with every breath he took in and the way his lips were lightly parted. He leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek before he left the room.

 

JJ stopped by the lobby and asked the front desk receptionist to send some breakfast up to his room at six in the morning. He considered it a cute wake up call for Yuri and walked away with a smile on his face hoping that Yuri would be in a good mood for the day.

 

 

*_ alarm ringtone plays*

 

"Ugh, where's my phone?" Yuri wondered as he was roused from his deep sleep. He sat up and rubbed the tiredness from his eyes as he began to adjust his eyes to the bright light entering the room. He looked around the bed looking to turn off his alarm when he noticed that he wasn't on his bed. Panic began to fill him when he suddenly remembered last nights events. Immediately, Yuri blushed and looked at the blanket on the bed like it was the most interesting thing in the room.

 

"I slept in JJ's room, but why don't I hear any snoring or sounds coming from him? Where is he?"

 

Yuri looked around the room and noticed that JJ wasn't nowhere in sight. He felt slightly hurt that he wasn't there when he woke up but in a way, he felt happy about it at the same time. He knew he would have to talk to him later and ask-

 

*knock knock*

 

"Who could be knocking at this hour?"

 

Yuri opened the door and saw the bellhop with a breakfast cart in front of him. Yuri decided to open the door all the way to let him bring the cart in. Before he even managed to let a word escape, the bellhop spoke, "JJ stopped by the front desk this morning and requested we bring up some food for you." Yuri nodded and the bellhop left, making sure to close the door behind him.

 

Yuri walked over and pulled the lid off from his food and got confused.

 

"Why would the idiot order a pork cutlet bowl and chocolate covered strawberries for me? That's the worst food combination I have ever seen. _Blech!_ "

 

*knock knock*

 

"Who can that be now?!" Yuri wondered as he began to get annoyed at the food JJ had ordered for him. He went to open the door and was about to yell at the person behind them for bothering him when he saw Viktor was at the door.

 

"Yuri! The bellhop seems to have gotten the breakfast's mixed. I think this is- wait, isn't this JJ's room? Yuri... what are you doing in JJ's room?!"

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JJ dotes on Yuri, but it leaves the kitten feeling confused and conflicted, along with Mila.

Yuri stood there for a moment, in the doorway to JJ’s room, with no idea what to say. After growing up at the ice rink, Yuri knew Viktor had very little family, and the two had become like brothers, but as they grew older, Viktor became like Yuri’s dad, and the Russian kitten knew what Viktor would do if he ever found out that Yuri had slept in JJ’s bed.

‘Well… what were you doing sharing a room with Yuuri? If the press found out, they’d have a field day. Coaches aren’t supposed to sleep with their students.’ Yuri swapped the breakfast trolleys around, but just before Yuri could shut the door on Viktor, the older man grabbed his wrist.

‘Just tell me. I don’t want him taking advantage of you.’

Yuri pulled a face. ‘Please, Viktor. Like I would let him anywhere near me for him to be able to take advantage of me. The rooms just got mixed up. JJ was in this one before, and now it’s mine. It’s no big deal.’

Viktor nodded and let go of Yuri’s wrist. ‘Alright. See you at the ice rink after?’

Yuri nodded and shut the door, and as soon as it clicked, he leant against it with a sigh of relief. _That was a close one._ He’d have to be extra careful when he went down to his actual room afterwards to shower and get his things. He wheeled his breakfast trolley over to the desk, then opened the top. Yuri didn’t even register the food. Instead, his gaze his fixed on a small note that had been placed on the tray.

_Yuri,_

_I hope your ankle is feeling better. Try not to put too much pressure on it in the practice rink: you should only do that during the actual performance. But as soon as it’s over, you need to rest it so you can compete in the free programme tomorrow._

_I hope you enjoy your breakfast. Eat all of it: you need to keep your strength up._

_Good luck! See you at the rink._

_JJ._

Yuri ate his breakfast, but his mind kept coming up blank as he stared at the note. He felt so confused about his feelings. He had thought that JJ was an annoying flirt but he had proved last night that he was kind and considerate. He even cared for his siblings when he was thousands of miles away from them. How come he had never seen this side of JJ before? Yuri didn’t always look for the best in people, so it was no wonder he hadn’t seen this side of JJ until now. But Yuri had only seen it because JJ had shown it him. Why didn’t he show his true colours in public? Why was he happy to be branded as an annoying flirt? Now Yuri was even more confused.

He finished eating, then grabbed his shoes and made his way back to his room, trying not to limp, but not wanting to put too much pressure on his ankle either.

When he arrived back at his room, Mila was stood outside it, phone pressed to her ear. ‘Just keep looking for him. He can’t have gone-’ Mila clocked Yuri stood at the end of the hall and her furrowed brow gave way to relief. ‘He’s here, Yakov… Yeah, I will. See you at the rink.’ Mila marched towards Yuri and grabbed his shoulders. ‘Where the fuck have you been?!’

‘I went for a jog to warm up.’

‘In the clothes you wore yesterday? Yeah, right, come on, Yuri – what happened to your ankle?!’

Yuri looked down, where Mila’s stare was directed, and saw that his bandage had fallen off slightly and the dark purple bruise was showing. ‘I sprained it yesterday when I was practicing.’

‘Can you still skate?’

‘Yes. It looks worse than it feels. I’ll be fine.’

Mila narrowed her eyes. ‘You seem… calmer… and nicer… than usual.’

‘Shut up, Mila. I’m going for a shower, then I’ll grab my costume and meet you down at the venue.’

She nodded, eyes still narrowed, then Yuri hobbled into his room. Mila was right. He had been less rude. After spending a night with JJ, someone, who he found out, he felt comfortable around, Yuri had let his guard down. As had JJ. Which Yuri still found strange. The effort of holding up his own walls made him defensive and a little rude, but JJ’s defence made him annoying and flirtatious. Why should he act like that when the other him, the real him, was so much nicer? The one with a charming smile and wide eyes that made him look like a puppy, the one who read books ahead of time for his siblings, the one who cared for the ankle of a boy who had been nothing but rude to him.

Yuri sighed and limped into the bathroom. He supposed he should ask himself the same question.

…

At the practice rink, Yuri zipped himself into his team jacket, taking care not to let the metal snag on his costume. In the shower, Yuri had decided that he wouldn’t even speak to JJ until the short programme was over, so as to keep himself focused, but after one look at JJ zooming around the ice, Yuri’s heart landed in his throat and he knew he had to speak to him before the competition began or he won't be able to concentrate.

‘Why are you blushing?’ Mila asked from beside Yuri.

‘I’m not,’ he told her as he laced up his skates.

‘You’ve been staring at JJ for at least ten minutes.’

Yuri groaned. ‘No, I haven’t.’

‘You do know nothing can happen between the two of you, right? He’s such a flirt. He’s only ever had one stable relationship, and even then, he broke his commitment to her.’

Yuri turned to Mila and glared at her. ‘JJ is not a flirt, and even if he was, it doesn’t matter. Things aren’t like that between us.’

‘What…? Yuri…’

He ignored Mila and took off his blade guards, then went onto the ice to start warming up. Once he felt confident that his body was ready for his Agape performance, he went over to JJ, who was skating slower now, probably not wanting to over exert himself before he had to do his short programme for real.

He smiled when he saw Yuri approaching him. ‘Hey, cutie.’

‘Shut up…’ Yuri said, his voice lacking its usual conviction.

JJ chuckled. ‘How’s the ankle?’

‘Better. Thank you, by the way. For last night. And this morning. With the breakfast.’

‘It’s fine. Just remember to rest your ankle again tonight so you can compete tomorrow. Do you need me to…’

Oh…’ Yuri looked away, not wanting JJ to see him blush from the suggestion of spending another night together so the Canadian could nurse his ankle. ‘No, it’s fine. I should do it myself. There was a mix-up with the breakfast this morning and Viktor came to swap it and he knew that it was your room and he got suspicious when I answered the door. I told him that we switched rooms, but I’m not sure if he believed me.’

JJ nodded. ‘Alright, thanks for letting me know. Good luck with your performance. I’ll know you’ll do great, kitten.’

‘You, too.’

JJ winked and skated off, leaving Yuri a blushing mess on the ice.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri runs into Yūri and Viktor, sees his grandfather

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for taking so long in updating, things have been a bit hectic. Also, this chapter may be edited later on.

Yuri walked back to his hotel room after he finished practicing and ran into Viktor and Yūri on his way up.

 

"Oh, Yuri! Viktor told me that there was a mix up with the rooms, did you get it fixed?"

 

Yuri scowled, he didn't feel like addressing the concern about the rooms so soon but he decided to let it go. With a sigh, he spoke, "Yeah, I decided to keep the room on the top floor and JJ kept the room close to you guys."

 

"Awe, but why? We could have had a sleepover in your room."

 

"Ah, but Yūri, we could still sleepover at his room. Can't we Yuri? I'm sure he wouldn't mind," Viktor spoke with a slight edge in his voice.

 

Yuri mentally face palmed himself. He was regretting speaking to Yūri and Viktor now, he should have told them to go away.

 

"We'll see," he finally spoke turning his back against them opting to use the stairs to get to his room.

 

* * *

 

“JJ, did you have to squeeze into your outfit today?”

 

“No, why does it look tight against my figure?”

 

“NO, I just thought you would’ve had to squeeze into it because you’re full of hot air.”

 

JJ smirks and leans close to Yuri’s ear, breathing against his neck. Yuri fought back a blush and held in his breath for fear his voice might come off as breathy and shaky.

 

“If anything, I’m full of want for you.” JJ spoke softly before pressing a small kiss against Yuri’s neck. “I’ll see you later love.”

 

Yuri scoffed before muttering quietly, “I’m not your love… yet.”

 

Yuri went back onto the ice to skate, unknowing that a pair of eyes had just witnessed the small interaction between the two and went back into his room to get his water from the bag before going back onto the ice to practice. He wasn’t sure what he just witnessed but it seemed like the two were doing more than just bickering.

 

“I’m going to have to talk to him about it.” The figure silently spoke.

 

* * *

 

“Run, and don’t stop running till you hit your changing room. Yūri is running around hugging everyone that can match Viktor’s hug.” 

 

“What are you talking about Mari? Why would the pork cutlet bowl hug me?”

 

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Mari spoke once more before running down the hall once more.

 

“She’s being weird like usual. Why would that pork cut—“ Yuri didn’t get to finish his thought when he saw the pork cutlet bowl barreling toward him with outstretched hands. Yuri first walked back slowly before he took off running down the hall and as far away as possible from Yūri’s grasp, he took a sharp right turn and bumped into someone else.

 

“Well, I don’t mind that you crashed into me Yuri but I would have preferred that you crashed your lips into mine instead.” JJ spoke softly.

 

“This isn’t a time to be talking about things like that you idiot. Get out of my way.”

 

“Oh, how I live for your insults. They make my day.”

 

Yuri just scowled before going around him and taking off once more. He wasn’t about to allow himself to be hugged by the pork cutlet bowl. He found a quiet place and went to hide there till he didn’t hear Yūri’s footsteps anymore. Yuri took some time to regulate his breathing before checking the corner to see if he was anywhere to be seen and once he saw it was clear, he stepped out and began walking back to his room. Yuri placed his earphones back into his ears and began nodding his head softly to the music that was coming out of his headphone speakers when he felt someone pull him back. Dread began to fill his stomach and he was about to tell Yūri off when he heard a soft voice speak.

 

“Don’t pull away, just let me hug you for a moment.”

 

Any words Yuri had, instantly died in his throat. He’d never been someone who enjoys physical affection but for some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to tell JJ to let him go. JJ held onto him as if he were to someday vanish into thin air and the thought hurt him a lot. He didn’t want JJ to go anywhere for a long time. He still hasn’t had a chance to talk to him more than a couple of sentences the other day and constant bickers they had to do to prevent anyone from getting suspicious about the sudden animosity and what they have been up to. Which wasn't much since it was just talking... and one late night meeting in the other's rooms and a couple of messages here and there but really, it wasn't like they were grinding on each other or anything.

 

“Wait, why do—“ Yuri’s internal thought was cut short when he felt those strong arms let go. He instantly missed the contact and wanted them to hold him again. He felt safe in JJ’s arms. 

 

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. When you get a chance, can we talk about what happened the other night?” JJ asked Yuri.

 

Yuri nodded before remembering that his grandfather was going to take him to the airport and kissed JJ goodbye on the cheek. He ran back to his room to get his things not even noticing he had kissed JJ bye.

 

Once back in his room, Yuri got his equipment and ran outside of the arena to find his grandfather already there waiting for him. A smile quickly adorned Yuri’s face, he loved and had missed his grandpa dearly. It’s been a while since he last saw him and he certainly didn’t want to waste time by hiding in an unlit hallway being chased by a love deprived loser like Yūri. He ran down the steps and immediately wrapped his arms around his grandpa. How he loved spending time with him.

 

* * *

 

"Yuri, your program was great! You’ve been working hard and it shows. Your mother and I are so proud of you." Spoke his grandpa. Hearing those words, Yuri felt a sense of pride and warmth spread inside him. He missed being able to see his grandpa on the stands cheering him on throughout his program. Yuri smiled and thanked his grandpa before they drove together to the airport.

 

"So Yuratchka, how's the new program coming along?"

 

"It's going well, can't practice much at the moment though because I sprained my ankle the other day."

 

"Have you been treating it well?"

 

Yuri sighed. He hated when people pestered him and worried about small things but he nodded nonetheless. He looked over to his grandfather who kept his eyes on the road and wondered how he would react if he found out that he was slowly falling for the king... wait, falling? for the king? JJ? The word felt foreign to him, for a long time his love was the ice but silently admitting he had a crush was different. JJ crossed his mind and Yuri unconsciously smiled.

 

"I've been careful to make sure that I don't add any unnecessary stress to it. Yakov has been making sure I work on my other points while it heals so there's not much concern."

 

"Good, I know how important skating is for you after your mother told you her story."

 

Yuri's thoughts suddenly went onto his mom. It's been a while since he last saw her but he knew he'll see her soon after the program is done. His thoughts then drifted over to JJ and his mother's relationship. They were close to each other and she seems so supportive of him. He wondered if she knew that JJ has been flirting with him or not. She most likely didn't. He didn't even know if his mother knew he was bisexual.

 

"— can't believe it."

 

Yuri was pulled from his thoughts after hearing that. "What can't you believe?," he asked.

 

"How can they allow a gay people be part of the program?"

 

Yuri's smile automatically vanished. Did that mean... he didn't want to believe it. "But you can't help who you love, love is love, grandpa."

 

"Bunch of nonsense Yuri! Love is not love, you choose who you love, if you choose to love someone from the same sex that makes you disgusting."

 

The words felt like vile in Yuri's ears. He was surprised by his grandfather's view points on the topic. With sorrow and hurt, Yuri spoke. "You choose a partner, but you can't help who you fall in love with. Being part of the LGBT+ community isn't a choice. You're born that way and it's okay for people to love the same gender, to be asexual, and transgender... love is love grandpa."

 

His grandfather didn't respond and the rest of the car ride to the airport was spent in silence.

 

* * *

 

In Barcelona, Yuri walked to the reception desk of the hotel with his luggage in one hand. He hoped his fans weren't following him cause he really did not want to deal with them today. After what he heard from his grandfather last night, he spent his time wondering what he'd do if he found out he was gay. He would hope that he would treat him the same way but a nagging feeling in the back told him otherwise. He rang the bell and a receptionist poked her head out of a door and told him she'll be with him in a minute.

 

Yuri huffed and drummed his nails against the counter. He really didn't want to wait for the receptionist. He blew his hair out of his face, removed his sunglasses, looked everywhere he possibly could all while drumming. He was about to turn his head to the left to look outside the building when he felt someone nudging him on the left. He turned and came face to face with JJ. Yuri didn't feel like seeing him then and there either but he suppressed the groan that threatened to escape him.

 

"Why the long face Yuri?"

 

JJ attempted to poke his cheek but Yuri quickly ducked before he did so.

 

"Beat it JJ, I'm not in the mood to deal with you right now."

 

JJ was stunned. Yuri normally had any quick remarks for his behavior but this was completely different. Had he done something? Right when he was about to speak, the receptionist finally showed up and asked Yuri for his information and handed him a key.

 

Yuri thanked her and walked off leaving behind a downtrodden JJ. He took the elevator up to the 12th floor and inserted his key into the door, pulled it out and walked inside. He threw his luggage to the side before throwing himself onto the bed and hugged one of the smaller pillows against his chest. Why did he have to be falling for JJ? Why was his grandfather against gay people? Was his mom the same way? He had so many questions but being inside his room wasn't going to clear anything up. With that last thought, he got up, put his glasses back on and went down for a walk throughout the city for a while.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri gets stalked by his fangirls in Barcelona.

The walk wasn’t really helping to clear Yuri’s head. As far as JJ was concerned, Yuri had feelings for him. There was no use in denying it anymore. He liked him, more than he should, and now Yuri felt bad for the way he snapped at JJ in the lobby. He liked him and wanted to spend time with him, but at the same time, he felt confused. Did JJ even like him? At first, he thought he was just being a flirt, but they’d spent the night together, and behind closed doors, JJ was so sweet to him. God, it was so confusing. Yuri just wanted to talk to JJ, to find out if he had any feelings for him, but he didn’t want to risk ruining anything.

Then there was his grandpa. He was old and set in his ways and it would be hard to change his views, but maybe if his grandpa could see how happy JJ made him, then maybe his grandpa would change his mind. But him and JJ weren’t together, so there was no point in thinking about it until they became a couple. 

_I_ _f_ they became a couple.

But right now, he had to focus on the Grand Prix Final. As soon as it was over, he would deal with JJ and his feelings.

Now that he had that sorted, Yuri allowed a small smile to spread over his face. Barcelona was a beautiful city and Yuri wanted to come back here one day. Not for a skating competition, just for a holiday, maybe with JJ. Yuri’s smile grew. A holiday with JJ, out of the public eye, which meant he wouldn’t act like a flirt, was a wonderful idea.

The thought of JJ did make Yuri frown, though. He should probably head back to the hotel or maybe go to the practice rink to find JJ and apologise for earlier.

Yuri turned around, but his eyes widened when he saw a group of girls staring at him from the end of the street, all of whom were wearing a pair of cat ears or something with leopard print on.

Slowly, the blond skater took a step back, but the group took two steps forwards.

_Shit._

He backed up a little more, but when the group came even closer, Yuri turned and ran. He had no clue where he was going, and he fumbled for his phone, wanting to ring JJ or Viktor or Yūri or Yakov or someone to come and get him, but where would he tell him he was?

Yuri ran down an alley and hid in a doorway to get his breath back. He managed to get his phone out of his pocket, but as he tapped on JJ’s name in his contacts, there was a shout from his left.

‘Quickly, Yuri!’

The blond looked towards the noise and he smiled when he saw Otabek, his best friend. They hadn’t spoken in a while and Yuri was so glad to see him. He ran to him and jumped on the motorbike and let Otabek speed away with him. He caught sight of his crazy fans snapping pictures of him with Otabek, and he knew that the pictures would be splattered all over social media within seconds. Usually, he wouldn’t have minded, but JJ was going to see. It wasn’t like JJ owned him, they weren’t even dating – as Yuri reminded himself for the fiftieth time that day – but he didn’t want JJ to think he was interested in someone else. He couldn’t do anything about it other than speak to JJ afterwards. But for now, Yuri would enjoy some time catching up with his best friend.

…

After unpacking, JJ did go to the practice rink, but after an hour, he went for a walk in the city centre. He couldn’t get his mind away from Yuri for long enough to be able to concentrate on his routine and he thought a walk would clear his head.

Why had Yuri snapped at him like that in the hotel lobby? JJ thought they were making progress. Yuri had been kind to him during that night they spent together, and he had even let JJ hug him after the Rostelecom Cup. Had he done something wrong? He hadn’t contacted him between then and now, so maybe that was it? Was Yuri pissed at him because he hadn’t text him? Oh god, JJ didn’t know.

The Canadian skater's thoughts and feet stopped in their tracks when he came upon a café. The windows were large, and JJ could quite clearly see Otabek and Yuri chatting over a cup of coffee. Both boys were smiling as they spoke, and JJ couldn’t help but feel his heart drop at the sight. Yuri looked so much more… animated with Otabek that he did with him.

Before JJ had much time to think about it, he walked into the café and stood at Yuri and Otabek’s table, pointedly ignoring the Kazakhstani skater.

‘Yuri,’ he said, voice coming a lot colder than he expected it to.

The blond skater looked up and smiled at JJ. Perfect timing. He needed to apologise and Yuri could introduce him to Otabek properly and… was JJ glaring at him?

‘JJ? Are you okay?’

‘I need to talk to you,’ JJ said, still not looking at Otabek.

‘Sit down then.’ Yuri gestured to the seat beside him but JJ didn’t move.

‘Back at the hotel.’

Yuri bit his lip. He should go with JJ. But he didn’t want to just abandon Otabek. He looked over at his best friend.

Otabek sipped his coffee then looked at Yuri. ‘It’s fine. But text me when you’re done. We can carry on after.’

Yuri nodded and quickly drank his coffee, then he followed JJ out of the café. As soon as they were out in the open, JJ grabbed Yuri’s wrist and walked briskly back to the hotel. Yuri had no choice but to follow, although he was very confused.

‘JJ, what’s going on?’

JJ didn’t reply. He kept on walking, not stopping until the door to JJ’s hotel room was shut.

Yuri didn’t take time to notice what book JJ was reading for his siblings or even if he had unpacked at all. He just yanked his wrist out of JJ’s grip and folded his arms across his chest. ‘What’s wrong, JJ?’

‘I’m sorry, okay? I should have woken you up in the morning after that night you spent in my room, and I shouldn’t have hugged you after the free programme and I should have text you after but I didn’t and I’m sorry.’

Yuri stared at JJ for a moment. ‘What?’

JJ sat on the bed and rested his head in his hands. ‘I didn’t wake you up or text you because I thought you would find it too awkward to talk about it. And I shouldn’t have hugged you, I know I shouldn’t, but I just wanted to because I knew I wouldn’t see you again until today and I don’t know how much time we’ll get to spend together before I see you again and-’

Yuri put his hand on JJ’s shoulder. ‘Stop apologising.’

‘But you’re angry at me.’

‘Says who?’

‘Says you. You snapped at me in the lobby.’

Yuri shook his head. ‘It wasn’t because I was angry with you. I just… had a lot of things to think about. I didn’t mean to do it.’

JJ nodded, feeling relieved. ‘Okay.’

Yuri just nodded, not wanting to reply. He felt like if he said anything else, he would reveal his feelings for the Canadian to JJ, and right now, he needed to focus on the final, not the repercussions of that. ‘Can I go now? I haven’t seen Otabek in a while and I’d like to catch up with him.’

JJ wanted to shout, to say they hadn’t seen each other in a while either, but he didn’t want to stop Yuri from seeing his friends, even if it was Otabek, someone JJ was jealous of. How did he get Yuri to look at him like that? Maybe it was all in his head. Maybe Yuri did look as animated and enthusiastic talking to JJ as he did with Otabek. Maybe it was for the best that Yuri went, just so JJ could get his head together.

He suppressed the growl that wanted to come out and nodded his consent to Yuri. The blond gave him a small smile and left the room, and as soon as the door clicked shut, JJ lay back on his bed, grabbed a pillow, and screamed into it.

Why was he getting so jealous and possessive? He hadn’t even been like this with Isabella, or come to think about it, any of his previous girlfriends. Why was Yuri different? He had fallen for the boy much quicker and stronger than he had for anyone else, was that the reason why? It didn’t really matter why, though. He shouldn’t be feeling like this. They weren’t together and they hadn’t even talked about going on a date. And JJ wasn’t even sure if he _should_ be perusing a relationship with Yuri. The Russian skater wasn’t even sixteen yet, and even though JJ was nineteen, he didn’t want to be labelled as some sort of pervert. Then there was Viktor and Yakov to consider. They both seemed very protective over the younger skater. Then JJ had to consider all of Russia. He had never spoken to a Russian person before about the specifics, but he had heard what was going on in Chechnya. He didn’t ever want to put Yuri in that kind of danger.

JJ knew that sooner or later he would have to talk to Yuri about his feelings. He couldn’t keep them a secret forever. But how did he broach the subject? He’d never had any trouble with confessing his feelings before. Why was Yuri so different to everyone else?


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Otabek and Yuri have a sleepover and JJ questions everything

"Yuri, is everything okay? Do you need to tell me anything?"

 

"What are you talking about?" Yuri tilted his head in confusion.

 

Otabek chuckled and handed him his ice cream sundae. "Come on Yuri, we've been best friends since we were little. I know there's something you're not sharing. I can tell by the way you've been behaving recently and you've been chewing on your lip since we came into my room and we decided to have a sleepover after the bellhop brought our ice cream sundaes. You could tell me anything you know?"

 

Yuri was stunned. He didn't know how to react to those words, he was afraid of talking about his feelings but he knew he needed to talk to someone about it. He set his sundae aside, turned to look over at his best friend and saw a sincere look of concern. He didn't like seeing his friend concerned but he was also appreciative of having such a good friend. He took a deep breath in and closed his eyes. He felt a hand press lightly on his back and began moving side to side in a comforting manner.

 

"It's okay if you don't feel like talking about it. I'm just letting you know that I'm here if you want someone to listen. Take your time."

 

Yuri nodded and took another deep breath gathering his thoughts to talk to Otabek about what happened with his grandfather. It felt vile, remembering how he spoke about Viktor and Yūri's relationship. He never thought his grandfather would ever talk about someone's relationship in that manner but here he was and he wasn't happy. The way he spoke his thoughts and his facial expressions made Yuri's stomach feel like it was in knots. He opened his eyes and with one more deep breath, he spoke.

 

"It's my grandfather, we were talking about Viktor and Yūri the other day and he expressed disgust toward their relationship. It made me feel sick, I didn't like it. It made my chest hurt and stomach churn because I never knew he felt that way about same-sex marriage. I mean, I thought I could've gone to him and say, 'Hey, I figured out I'm gay,' and he'd be accepting but now I can't do that. It hurts not being able to tell him that cause he's my grandfather, the person that helped my mom raise me. How do I get him to understand that there's nothing wrong with people loving people of the same sex?"

 

Otabek looked at Yuri briefly before enveloping him into a hug. He knew it must've been weighing on him heavily and he couldn't even imagine what that must be like because his family wasn't that way. He hugged Yuri tighter before he speaking softly, "the best thing you could do right now is try and teach him that theres nothing wrong with people of the same-sex loving one another. That love is love, you're a great person. I know you'll try and find a way to make him understand. I hope that the day you decide to tell him, he won't be judgmental."

 

"Thanks Otabek. I hope you're right. I would really like for him to accept me as I am. I don't want to hide a part of who I am from him. I want him to be happy for me for when I come home with someone special by my side."

 

Otabek nodded before grinning and changing the topic.

 

"Is that someone special perhaps named JJ?"

 

Yuri blushed lightly and turned away, he didn't know how to respond to that. He knew that he really liked JJ but was he ready to admit it?" The answer was  _yes_... no.

 

"I have no clue what you're on about."

 

"Don't play dumb with me Yuri. You know exactly what I'm talking about... unless you want me to spell it out for you?"

 

Yuri felt a chill go down his spine, he definitely **_did not_** want Otabek to spell it out for him but he was stubborn and wasn't about to admit to anything either.

 

"Okay Yuri, don't say I didn't give you a chance. Stolen glances in between practices, constantly sniping at one another... more, and the fact that I overheard a small conversation the other day and saw him hug you... you also didn't complain.'"

 

Yuri gulped as his eyes went wide, "you heard!?!?!?"

 

"Yep, and saw."

 

"WHAT?!?!?!"

 

"So, is the special person JJ or would you like me to repeat the words you spoke under your breath that day?"

 

"You wouldn't dare!"

 

"I'm not-," Otabek didn't get a chance to finish his sentence because Yuri had placed his hand over his mouth.

 

"Okay, okay! You know, I hate you sometimes, right?"

 

"That's a big lie and you know it. You love me, and consider me family."

 

Yuri dragged a hand down his face before he nodded. He really can't keep secrets from Otabek, he somehow always knows everything."

 

"Fine! IthinkimaylikeJJ..."

 

"What was that? I'm sorry, I couldn't understand you."

 

Yuri muttered lowly under his breath before speaking a little more louder and slower.

 

"I think I may like JJ."

 

"You think or you know?

 

Otabek wasn't making this easy for him but he supposed he appreciated that as well. He did admire Otabek for bluntly speaking and not holding back his thoughts. It was one of the first things he found he liked about his best friend.

 

"I really hate you. I hope you know that. Fine!!! I like JJ. I've been liking him for a while now."

 

"I love you too Yuri!!! How long have you known you've liked him?"

 

"A few weeks. I'm not too sure when the attraction began but I really like him now. We've been texting and talking in private. We don't talk much in person because of course we don't want people to question us."

 

"Okay, so tell me how this started and don't leave out any details because for one, I'm your best friend, it'd be nice to know and two, you know I won't tell anyone about it. You can count on me." Otabek smirked and hugged Yuri from the side.

 

Yuri huffed and allowed himself to be hugged, nodding and telling Otabek the story of how it all began. They re-ordered their sundaes because of the talk they had, it had all melted. He was internally happy to know someone was supportive of him and didn't mind that he liked JJ. He placed his head on Otabek's shoulder and thanked him for being there for him. They spent the rest of the night watching crappy scary movies, talking and eating their sundaes before setting the alarms on their phones and crashing at one in the morning.

 

* * *

_**the next day** _

 

Otabek, walked into the small practice rink and immediately noticed many of his competitors practicing and warming up already. Yuri seemed to have gone elsewhere to practice since he wasn't in the room but saw that JJ was skating in a corner looking less than pleased. He noticed Seung-Gil Lee skating in the middle of the ice and next to him was an empty space he could use to practice. Otabek put his earphones in and walked over to the bleachers to begin stretching his quadriceps and hamstrings.

 

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that JJ looked extremely exhausted and had bags under his eyes. He immediately noted that JJ must've stayed up late thinking about things and saw it as a bad sign right before the competition. Otabek stopped stretching and stood silently, observing JJ's movements. He noticed JJ was wobbling a bit and seemed like he was about to fall face forward. Otabek stepped onto the ice and skated near JJ just in case he fell. JJ tried doing a leap but instead the tip of his skate hit the ice and he was immediately falling forward. He dashed immediately over to JJ and caught him before he fell. He asked Seung-Gil to help him move him over to the bleachers on the side and told him to bring by a wet towel. Seung-Gil left and JJ just peeked up at Otabek.

 

In an exhausted tone, JJ asked, "Do you like Yuri?"

 

That question took Otabek by surprise. He had expected JJ to say not to worry and that he was all right (even though he was far from that), and to leave him alone. He looked over at JJ and spoke, "don't tell me you didn't sleep because you were up all night worrying about the things Yuri and I could have been doing."

 

JJ looked away ashamed. He knew it was foolish to feel possessive over someone who didn't belong to him nor was with them but he couldn't help it. He was a fool who has fallen too hard for a blond pixie with killer skills on the ice and a beautiful soul.

 

Meekly, he responded, "...no."

 

Otabek sighed and checked to see if anyone was within earshot that could eavesdrop on their conversation. He saw that Seung-Gil Lee was walking toward them and refrained from continuing the conversation till he got the towel from him to place it on JJ's forehead. He knew he wasn't burning but thought it was best to put it on him nonetheless. Otabek thanked Seung-Gil and waited once more till he was out of earshot to respond.

 

"You're an idiot. Staying up all night just because you thought I saw him that way. What were you planning to do in case you fell in front of the cameras? I would've kicked your ass for not only making your fans and family worry but Yuri too. He's like my little brother and I swear JJ, if you do something ridiculous to make him sad, I'll fly over to your house and trash everything in your room as revenge."

 

JJ's demeanor did a quick turn around. He sat up and looked Otabek in the eye feeling slightly embarrassed. He had heard Yuri say he hasn't seen him in a while and they were friends but he let those thoughts get the best of him.

 

"We've been friends since the early training days and have been there for each other. We text once in a while and see each other at tournaments but it's rare when he and I can match up our schedules to go out for food and talk for a bit. You don't have to worry about me... well you do but that's only if you hurt him or make him sad. Right now he seems happy and I'm guessing that's because of you."

 

JJ's stomach did a happy somersault and perked up a lot more. He was about to thank Otabek for easing his thoughts when he spoke again.

 

"You're not playing with his emotions, right? He really doesn't need someone to just string him along, he deserves happiness. You need to gather your thoughts together before you talk to him about anything regarding the possibility of a relationship. If you're planning on talking to him about your feelings or asking him out, you need to do so with a clear mind and know what you're getting into. The last thing he needs is someone playing with him."

 

JJ didn't know what to make out of that warning but nodded his head. He knew he would need to sort out all of his thoughts before talking to him and with the look Otabek was giving him, it wasn't like he had much choice in the matter either. He thanked Otabek for helping him and talking to him, he had appreciated it all and went back to practicing. With a clear head, JJ attempted to do a leap once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really not happy with the way I wrote the last bit of this chapter, I feel like its too rushed. Does it seem rushed to you guys?


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the short program of the Grand Prix Final, but can JJ handle the pressure?

As Yuri came off the ice, his hands shook as he made his way to the kiss and cry. He sat between Yakov and Lilia, trying to look unfazed, but it wasn’t helping. He knew he’d done well in his short programme, but his mind was on JJ. They hadn’t spoken since that day in the Canadian’s hotel room, after JJ had crashed his meeting with Otabek. Yuri felt bad: he’d left so abruptly. He should have stayed longer, explained more. JJ had seemed jealous… but of what?

As he sat there, wedged in between the two old Russians, it finally struck him. JJ had been jealous of Otabek. That’s why he’d been so down since that day at the café. Yuri bit his lip, wanting to go and find the Canadian straight away, but he had to wait. Luckily, his score came in a few moments later, and after being congratulating a million times by the people around him for coming in first, Yuri headed off, hunting around the locker rooms of the ice rink.

Yuri double-checked everywhere he could think of, but it was void of human beings. The only people he could find were the security guards to the venue, but the last time they had seen JJ was when he had entered that morning. No one else was around. Everyone was watching the final.

The blond Russian sighed and made his way back towards the rink. He passed by one of the televisions and saw the Phichit and Chris had already skated. Otabek was on next, and Yuri had promised to watch. He hurried to take his place in the stands and sat by Yūri and Sara, watching his best friend skate as well as scanning the arena. JJ wasn’t sat anywhere in the stands, and Yuri couldn’t see him by the kiss and cry. Where was he? Yuri was starting to get desperate now.

As soon as Otabek’s routine was over, Yuri hot-footed it down to the kiss and cry to congratulate his best friend.

The Kazakhstani went over to Yuri for a hug when his score came in.

‘You did great,’ Yuri said.

Otabek narrowed his eyes. ‘You don’t sound convinced.’

‘Sorry, but have you seen JJ? I’m really worried about him and he’s on next.’

Otabek shook his head. ‘Not since the warm-up skate. I’ll sure he’ll be fine, though.’ He smiled, but he knew Yuri was right. Even after his chat the other day with JJ, he knew the Canadian was still pining over Yuri, and that wasn’t a good thing to be doing during a skating competition.

Just as he shrugged his team jacket on, there was an announcement, telling the whole rink that JJ’s routine was about to start. Otabek watched as Yuri hurried to the rink side, the blonde’s nimble fingers gripping the high wall as he watched JJ.

He was in the middle of the ice, dressed in his purple costume, bags under his eyes but a smile on his face. He looked over at his parents, who smiled in reassurance, then JJ turned to the judges, ready to begin.

…

JJ’s heart thrummed in his chest as the music started. He had never felt this way about competing before. Not even during his first ever Junior Grand Prix Final. He had been confident and cocky and even though he still came across as the same man, he no longer felt like that. On the inside, he was shaking, but he couldn’t let it show through. He had to do this. He had to beat Otabek, so he could show Yuri, _his Yuri,_ that he was so much better than the Kazakhstani.

JJ had seen the photos on Instagram. _The Hero of Kazakhstan rescues the Fairy of Russia._ His blood had boiled when he saw them. JJ had no right, he knew that. Yuri wasn’t his. Not his husband, not his boyfriend, not even some guy he was dating. He had no right to tell Yuri whom he could and couldn’t see. But even now, as he started his combination jump, the picture of the two of them on that motorcycle came into his head. Cuddled so close together, looking so comfortable…

The Canadian vaguely heard the audience gasp. He’d missed his combination. He’d only executed a single jump. JJ shrugged it off and continued with his routine. _It was fine,_ he thought. He could make his final jump into a combination.

JJ leapt into his second jump, but stumbled back down onto the ice. _Not enough rotations._ He could bring this back. He needed to forget about Yuri for the time being. He shouldn’t be getting so worked up about him, anyway. Otabek had said there was nothing between him and Yuri, that they were like brothers. He nodded to himself. Everything was fine. Yuri didn’t have any feelings for Otabek, nor did Otabek for Yuri. It was okay.

But he needed to calm down, to get his head together. As he went through his step sequence, his mind went back to Yuri. It always went back to Yuri these days, even when he wanted to forget about him, like now. JJ managed a smile as he remembered that night they spent together. Yuri, with his bad temper and injured foot. Yuri, falling asleep in JJ’s hotel bed. Yuri, looking so peaceful, hair strewn across the pillow, blushing cheeks. Yuri… ridiculing him. Laughing at him. Mocking him. JJ felt the sting of tears in his eyes. He had to win. He had to win for his family, his fans, for Yuri… he had to win. He _always_ won.

He could hear the audience singing. He couldn’t give up now. He was so close. With a smile, JJ went for his final jump, but as he did, Yuri’s face flashed into his mind again. It wasn’t the face he had when he skated, or when he slept, but it was Yuri sneering at him. JJ’s heart thumped, and as he landed back on the ice, he realised that was his final jump. He hadn’t turned it into a combination at all. And he’d under rotated.

The song ended and JJ exited the rink as soon as he could. His parents congratulated him, like they always did, but JJ could hear the disappointment in their voices, could see it in their eyes. He’d failed them.

He snapped on his blade guards, put on his team jacket, and sat between his parents at the kiss and cry. They tried to speak to him, but JJ just stared straight ahead, waiting for his score to come in.

_86.71_

He knew it was going to be low. He didn’t expect it to be that low, though. Neither did the audience. They were completely silent.

‘Go, JJ!’ Someone shouted. Someone who sounded a lot like Yuri.

JJ turned around, and sure enough, there was Yuri, stood by the rink side, watching him with a smile on his face. The crowd came back to life and started cheering once more and JJ couldn’t help but smile. He hadn’t spoken to Yuri this morning. He thought it would have made him worse. But looking at the Russian now, JJ felt a whole lot better already. The Canadian mouthed “thank you” to Yuri before he turned back to the camera and grinned.

‘It’s JJ style!’ he said, fingers positioned, a sly wink thrown in for good measure.

The crowd roared and JJ’s smile got wider. He still felt shaken inside, but he could last an hour or so before he needed to go to his hotel room and cry. He turned back to Yuri, to say thanks again, and he found that the Russian was still looking at him, but he was now flanked by Yakov and Lila, and they were taking him away from JJ.

…

Yuri couldn’t believe his eyes. JJ was always so confident and brilliant. How could he have skated to poorly? And now, as Yakov and Lila spoke to him, asking him how he wanted to celebrate, Yuri saw the terror that filled JJ’s eyes.

‘Can we wait until after?’ he asked, and Yakov looked at him with narrowed eyes.

‘Until after what?’

‘Until the whole final is over. I don’t want to… jinx it,’ Yuri said.

‘You’ve never been superstitious before, Yura.’

‘I know, but I just need to do something.’

Lila sighed. ‘Alright. But tomorrow, we will celebrate.’

Yuri smiled at his two coaches, and he stayed stood where he was, waiting until JJ was alone. He ran over to him as soon as the coast was clear, and Yuri’s heart fell when he saw the look of alarm on the older boy’s face.

‘What’s your hotel room number?’

‘Five hundred and sixteen. Why?’

Yuri smiled at JJ. ‘I’m going to shower and get changed, then I’ll meet you there, okay?’

JJ nodded, his face relaxing slightly, and they went to the locker rooms together. Just as Yuri was about to enter his, JJ grabbed the Russian’s wrist.

‘You will come, won’t you? To my hotel room.’

Yuri nodded. ‘Of course, I will.’ He went to yank his hand out of JJ’s grip, but he thought better of it. JJ didn’t need to think that he hated him right now, not when he was on the verge of having a panic attack. Instead, Yuri gathered his courage, stepped forwards, and kissed JJ on the cheek. ‘I’ll always be there when you need me to,’ he whispered and JJ smiled.

‘Okay. See you in half an hour,’ JJ said, voice so small that Yuri could feel his heart breaking. What on earth had happened out on the ice that had defeated JJ so?

Yuri watched as JJ walked down the corridor to one of the other locker rooms, then he dived into his own. He had never showered and dressed so quickly in his entire life, and within ten minutes, he was ready to go.

With wet hair and a pounding heart, Yuri left the arena, ignoring his fans and the news reporters. He didn’t have time for this. He had to get to JJ. He got in the first taxi he saw, and the entire journey, he willed for it go just that bit faster, for the lights to stay on green that much longer, for the traffic to be that much clearer. By the time they arrived at the hotel, it had only been a ten-minute journey, but to Yuri, it had felt like an hour. He paid the driver with shaking hands, then ran into the hotel.

Chris was stood in the lobby, talking to one of the receptionists, and he shouted out to Yuri, but the blond boy ignored him. Yuri could apologise to Chris tomorrow. JJ was all the mattered. He took the lift up to the fifth floor and sprinted along the corridor. When he got to room 516, Yuri took a moment to catch his breath before he knocked on the door.

It was opened straight away, and JJ’s face broke out in relief when he saw Yuri stood there. ‘Thank god. I didn’t think you would come.’

Yuri shook his head and stepped into the room, shutting the door behind him. ‘I’ll always come, JJ. What happened out on the ice?’

JJ opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He wanted to tell Yuri everything. About his romantic feelings for him, his jealousy towards Otabek, the pressure on him to win. But he couldn’t. Instead, a sob escaped his mouth and Yuri's eyes widened.

He rushed over to JJ and hugged him. ‘It’s okay. I’m here, JJ.’

He sobbed harder and Yuri whimpered. He had never seen JJ like this before and it was breaking his heart to see this confident man so broken over something as insignificant as an ice skating competition. He led JJ over to the bed and once they were both sat down, Yuri wrapped his arms around JJ again and the Canadian sobbed into the crook of Yuri’s shoulder. Yuri’s hands were too small to run up down JJ’s back, or even his arms, so he settled for running his fingers through JJ’s dark hair and whispering into his ear. ‘Don’t cry. Please don’t cry, JJ. You did nothing wrong. You skated so well.’

JJ sniffed and looked up at Yuri. ‘Not well enough.’

‘Why does it matter? You can make it up tomorrow, and even if you can’t, there’s always next year.’

‘But what if I can’t make it up tomorrow? What if there is no next year? What if this is the end?’

JJ sobbed again and Yuri shushed him, running his fingers back through JJ’s hair. ‘It’s not, I promise it’s not. This isn’t the end for you.’

‘How do you know that?’

‘Because you’re King JJ! How _can_ this be the end for you?’

JJ managed a smile. He so desperately wanted to ask Yuri to be his queen, but he refrained. He couldn’t, not in this state, when there was a chance that Yuri would agree out of pity. JJ wanted it to be on his terms.

‘Was there anything else bothering you?’

JJ shrugged. ‘I just feel that there’s so much pressure on me to win. I know that sounds stupid. There’s pressure on all of us to win. You’re Russia’s new prodigy, Yūri is being coached by Viktor, Otabek and Phichit are the first ones from their country to compete in the Grand Prix Final, and Chris is expected to win because he’s been competing here for years, but I just feel… I don’t know… I’ve always won. Everything. The looks on my parent’s faces when I came off the rink… I can’t make them that disappointed in me again.’

‘I don’t think they were disappointed, just worried. You haven’t seemed right for days. Not since I left your hotel room the other day.’

JJ’s eyes widened in alarm as he heard Yuri’s voice drop with sadness. ‘Don’t you dare. This was not your fault.’

‘But you’ve been so down since then and I-’

The Canadian grabbed Yuri’s shoulders. ‘This wasn’t your fault, okay?’

Yuri bit his lip. ‘Okay.’

JJ finally grinned. ‘Good. And you better not go easy on me tomorrow.’

Yuri smirked. ‘You wish, Leroy.’

‘What happened to JJ? Or King JJ?’

‘The fact I said that never leaves this room.’

JJ laughed and Yuri couldn’t help but smile. He reached up and wiped away the rest of the tears from JJ’s face. ‘Much better.’

JJ smiled down at Yuri. ‘Stay with me for a bit?’

‘Only if you order room service. I’m starving.’

The older boy chuckled. ‘Alright. Pizza?’

Yuri nodded, and when JJ went to order, he got himself settled on the bed, leant against the headboard. He was much happier now, knowing that JJ was okay, and now he was surrounded by JJ’s scent, Yuri couldn’t help but grin. He’d missed this when they’d been apart between Rostelecom and Barcelona. Their secret nights together, stolen glances across the rink, the sweet words. He should have stayed that night, after their sort-of argument. And Yuri would make up for it tonight.

When JJ returned, Yuri was beneath the sheets and flicking through the television channels, eventually finding something that was playing in English and not Spanish.

JJ couldn’t help but blush at the sight. He thought of Yuri in his bed back at his apartment in Canada, under the sheets, looking so comfortable and relaxed because he belonged there. He willed his cheeks to calm down and he placed the pizza box down on the bed.

‘Yes, thank you. God, I’m so hungry,’ Yuri said as he picked up a piece and started eating straight away.

JJ watched with rapt fascination. Yuri had never said something so casual before. He hoped Yuri would start speaking like that more around him.

He picked up his own slice and began to eat, his attention only half on the film in favour of watching Yuri. The boy’s green eyes were shining from the television screen and his tongue darted out after every mouthful, swiping along his plump bottom lip. _So pretty._

‘JJ?’

‘Mm?’ he said, realising he had been caught staring.

‘You have pizza on your face.’

‘Huh? Oh.’ JJ put his current slice back in the box, then grabbed a tissue from the nightstand. ‘Where?’

‘Right cheek.’

JJ reached up and wiped a few times, but when he pulled his hand away, the tissue came back clean.

Yuri tutted. ‘Here.’ He took the tissue from JJ and wiped away the mess with a slight giggle. ‘You’re like a big man child.’

The Canadian just smiled, ignoring the comment, too focused on Yuri’s laugh to care what he said. It was only a quiet giggle, but it was cute and suited Yuri perfectly. ‘I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you laugh.’

‘So?’

‘So… maybe I want to hear it again.’ JJ reached out and ran his fingers over Yuri’s tummy, causing the Russian to giggle once more, this time louder and for longer.

‘JJ! Stop, you idiot!’ he shouted, still giggling and JJ did so, wide grin on his face.

‘You’ve got a wonderful laugh,’ he said.

Yuri scowled and folded his arms. ‘Whatever.’

Not another word was spoken about the laugh as they ate the rest of the pizza. It was a comfortable silence: they were so used to spending nights like this together. But when the pizza was gone and the film finished, it turned awkward. What was going to happen now?

Yuri shuffled off the bed and placed the pizza box in the bin, then looked at the door to the hotel room. He could go. He knew he could. JJ would never make him stay. But he wanted to. He turned around, about to go back to the bed and ask JJ if he could stay the night, but the Canadian was already stood there, a few inches between them.

JJ looked nervous again, and he felt it, too, but despite that, he took Yuri’s hand in his. He didn’t grip it tightly, just held it there between them, as if feeling the weight of it. ‘Stay the night,’ he asked, and Yuri nodded.

‘Okay.’

JJ gave Yuri a small smile, then led him over to the bed. They both climbed in, having already claimed their respective sides on that first night, and got comfortable underneath the covers. They both led facing each other, but averted their eyes. Yuri supposed he should have rolled over, but he didn’t want to. He wanted there to be a chance that JJ would unconsciously hold him in the middle of night, and then maybe, hopefully, Yuri would wake up in his arms. He allowed himself a small smile at the thought. To be wrapped in JJ’s strong arms when he woke up would be wonderful.

‘What are you smiling at?’

Yuri looked up. ‘Nothing. Good night, JJ.’

JJ reached for the light switch. He wanted to keep it on, so he could see Yuri’s face as he slept. He always looked so beautiful when he slept. But, JJ supposed, in the morning, when the sunlight streamed in under the curtains, he would be able to watch Yuri’s gorgeous sleeping face then. ‘Sweet dreams, Yuri.’

The Russian delivered a swift kick to JJ’s shin under the covers, and JJ chuckled as he turned off the light. His Yuri was too cute for words.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a huge apology for the delay of this chapter, I've been busy and have been dealing with some things but the next chapter is finally here! hope you guys enjoy it!

Yuri woke up and noticed that arms were tightly wrapped around his frame and he was being nestled against a warm chest. He looked up and noticed JJ was in a deep sleep and that they had somehow began cuddling during the night. Yuri felt his face heat up but found that he didn’t mind the warmth that was radiating from his body, that he was being held tightly or that JJ’s breathing was hitting his neck. He felt himself smiling and not wanting the moment to end, his eyes still felt tired so he snuggled in closer to JJ and pressed a small kiss to his chin before falling back asleep, feeling happiness expand through his body.

A few hours later, JJ woke up and noted some rays of light starting to finally peak in through the window. He tried twisting his body to look at the clock but found that he couldn’t due to a fairy that was nestled in his arms. The close proximity made JJ smile and his heart swell with joy and love. They had spent the whole night together, and somehow ended up cuddling through it. JJ then thought things over and found that Yuri might feel uncomfortable when he wakes up and sees that they began cuddling so he tries to disentangle his body from him only for Yuri’s arms to pull him back in. JJ’s thoughts stilled for a moment. “Does Yuri know we’re cuddling or is he having a nightmare,” he wondered. With his head, he gently nudged Yuri’s head to get him to wake up.

 

“Yuri, wake up. I think you’re having a nightmare.”

 

“Mm~ no. Let me sleep, ten more minutes.”

 

“Yuri, please wake up.”

 

“Uhhh... what?”

 

“I think you’re having a nightmare. You were frowning a bit right now and I want to know if you're okay.”

 

Yuri finally woke up and looked JJ in the eyes. “Why do you think I was frowning?”

 

“Well...,” JJ was at a loss for words. He didn’t know how to explain to Yuri that they had been cuddling and he had just pulled him in closer while sleeping.

 

“JJ, I know we were cuddling. I woke up before you and you had your arms tightly wrapped around me. I don’t mind it, it made me feel happiness. It was nice. Also, I was frowning because you were pulling away and you're extremely warm, why would I not frown?”

 

“Oh, well in that case I think it’s time to get up and get ready.”

 

Yuri covered his face with the blankets and tried snuggling in closer to JJ, while JJ's heart was doing backflips at Yuri's actions. “No... not yet. Five more minutes of cuddling before showering?”

 

JJ chuckled and pulled Yuri in closer, not wanting to let him go either. “Okay, just five minutes though. No more because we do have a competition to get to.” 

“Yay!” JJ felt that Yuri will someday be the death of him but he didn’t mind it. He was in his arms, he was happy and it was more than he could’ve ever wanted or hoped for right then and there. They talked for a bit, about their hopes for the competition, their dreams and of course the five minutes turned into thirty minutes when Yuri finally said he’ll be showering first. JJ pouted, not wanting his warmth to go away but relented and told him he’d be ordering breakfast for the two while he waited for his turn.

 

Ten minutes passed, when Yuri finally emerged from his steaming hot shower wearing some of JJ’s clothes he’d found close by that had left him speechless. “Are those my clothes?”

 

“Yeah, is that a problem?”

 

JJ didn’t know what to say. He never thought seeing Yuri wearing his clothes would be something he needed but here he finally was. Yuri was wearing his clothes and he just wanted to walk over and kiss the daylight out of him but restrained himself.

 

“Uh, no. It’s not a problem at all, you just- you look good in my clothes

 

”Yuri blushed, he felt happy to be wearing JJ’s oversized black shirt and purple boxers. He was worried about JJ’s reaction but seeing him not care and complimenting him made him feel like he was on cloud nine. He was about to walk over and press another kiss onto JJ’s cheek when they heard a knock on the door followed by a voice that called, “room service!”

 

“Wait here,” JJ said. “I’ll go get it.”

 

“Okay.” They both sat and ate together in the room's small table, chatting a bit more before Yuri asks if he has a pair of sweats he can borrow so he can go back to his room. JJ searches his closet and finds a pair that he can wear and hands it over to him.

 

“Thanks JJ, I’ll bring them back to you later tonight washed.”

 

“You can keep them, I don’t mind. They look really good on you.” Yuri smiles and hugs him before leaving his hotel room with his clothes from the day before in hand. Both of them, happy and smiling.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final of the Grand Prix.

Yuri tried his best to stay away from JJ during the warm up before the final stage of the Grand Prix Final, but it wasn’t easy when the rink had four other skaters on it. He tried to keep his mind focused on his free program and winning gold, but every time JJ skated past, he couldn’t help but get flustered by the fluttering behind his ribs.

The Canadian skater was the complete opposite. Yuri had given him strength and motivation last night and right now, the Russian fairy was the only thing driving JJ. After Yuri had left his hotel room that morning, they hadn’t seen each other again until they had arrived at the rink, and even then, they hadn’t spoken to the other one since they were getting last minute advice from their coaches. But JJ didn’t need that. He got what he needed last night, and as long as Yuri cheered his performance on again, JJ knew he would do well.

A bell went, signalling the end of the warm up and Yuri looked around frantically for JJ. He desperately wanted to keep his mind focused, but he wasn’t sure what state JJ would be left in if he didn’t even have the chance to tell him good luck.

He finally spotted JJ, but he was already exiting the rink and putting on his blade guards. Yuri stumbled towards him, but Yakov grabbed his arm before he could get close enough.

‘What do you think you’re doing?!’ The old man put Yuri’s blade guards on for him. ‘You’ll break your ankles!’

‘Yakov, I need to-’

‘What you need to do is keep warm and stay focused.’ He grabbed Yuri by the arm and pulled him away from the rink and towards the changing rooms, before plonking him down next to a heater. ‘I’m going to double check they have your music. Lila, watch him.’

The ballerina nodded and sat down with Yuri and Yakov walked off.

As soon as his coach was out of sight, the blond skater fumbled in his bag for his phone and immediately brought up JJ’s contact and text him.

_Good luck! I know you can do it! X_

As soon as it sent, Yuri clutched his phone to his chest and looked at the screens that had been set up in the changing room that showed the television feed of the rink. He easily spotted JJ, stood in between his parents, not far from the kiss and cry. The Canadian had to do well today. He just had to.

…

‘JJ, your phone is vibrating,’ JJ’s mother said, then handed her son his phone.

‘Hm?’ JJ smiled when he saw the message from Yuri. He definitely could get through today. His only problem would be when today ended. It was the end of the skating season for the year, and until the Grand Prix started up again next year, the skating competitions were few and far between unless the Winter Olympics were on, and Russia weren’t part of the Commonwealth, so the Commonwealth games were a no-go for them to meet up.

But he would think about that later. Right now, he needed to focus on the competition at hand.

With a smirk, he replied to Yuri’s text:

_Thanks, cutie ;) x_

He handed his phone back to his mum so should she could take care of it whilst he skated. He turned away from the rink, not wanting to watch the others in case it would distract him. He closed his eyes and went over his routine in his head, and smiled when he imagined Yuri watching him. The Russian would be skating last today, and JJ didn’t think the fiery fairy would be allowed to come out and watch, but he knew he would be watching on the screens as he prepared for his programme.

‘Son?’

JJ opened his eyes and smiled at his dad. ‘What is it?’

‘You’re on next.’

…

Yuri watched with baited breath as JJ positioned himself in the centre of the rink. He wanted to look away, too nervous to watch, but he forced himself to watch. Even though JJ couldn’t see him, Yuri felt like he would know if he didn’t watch.

The blond boy wrung his hands together as he watched. The routine went much better than yesterday’s had gone, but it was still littered with mistakes. Despite last night, JJ still hadn’t got his head together completely, but he pulled off his free programme well enough, and it ended with a thundering applause from the audience, not needing a prompt this time around.

Yuri slumped in relief against the chair he was sat on. JJ was going to be okay.

‘Why are you so nervous?’ Lila asked from beside him. ‘You’re not usually like this.’

‘Oh, I… erm…’

Lila shook her head. ‘The Leroy boy, hm? I don’t think Yakov would approve.’

Yuri blushed. ‘Is he… homophobic?’

‘No. He just doesn’t like him much.’

Yuri smiled at the ballerina. ‘I can deal with that.’

‘Stop thinking about him for now, though. Focus on your routine.’

…

For one of the first times in his life, Yuri didn’t feel like he could stop smiling. He had done it. He had won gold, and in the first time he had ever taken part in the Grand Prix Final, too. All that was left now was to collect his medal.

Yuuri was sat in the stands with Viktor, both men unable to stop hugging each other. Yuri shook his head and turned to face the rink, watching as the podium was set up in the centre of the rink.

‘Hey.’

Yuri looked up and saw that JJ had come to stand next to him. ‘JJ! You did great!’ He wanted to hug the other man, but he refrained. He could do it later, when there wasn’t a crowd of people still sat in their seats and taking pictures of him.

‘It wasn’t my best, but thanks, anyway.’

‘You’ll do better next season. I know you will. Besides, you won bronze. You can’t have been that bad.’

JJ smirked. ‘If I ever win gold, though, I don’t think I’d break down in tears in the middle of the rink.’

Yuri’s smile instantly gave way to a glare, despite his feelings for the Canadian skater. ‘Oi.’

‘Chill. I think I probably would cry, actually. You were amazing today, kitten. Congratulations.’

The Russian fairy blushed. ‘Thank you. Will you be at the banquet tonight?’

‘Of course. I wouldn’t miss the annual skaters pole dancing competition for anything.’

Yuri cocked one of his eyebrows upwards. ‘Are you taking part?’

‘Do you want me to, angel?’ he asked with a wink.

Yuri’s blush deepened, but before he could retort, they were called to line up for the medal ceremony. He could respond to JJ later.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s the day of the banquet and some things are revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I’d like to apologize for the horrendously long wait. There were some things that got in the way and I wasn’t able to post this right away.
> 
> To my co-author: I’m sorry and thank you.

Yakov and Lilia walked with Yuri into the banquet room spotting all of the other skaters there. Yuri had refused to leave the hotel until Otabek told him he was also on his way to the banquet. Yuri had no problems going to places on his own, but he would be lying if he said he wasn't feeling butterflies about seeing JJ. Their earlier conversation kept replaying in his head, "Do you want me to, angel?"

He really would love to see JJ take part in the pole dancing competition but he also didn't want others to see it. He wanted a private show, for his eyes only. Yuri wouldn't let anyone know that though not even Otabek. Well, maybe Otabek, since he had a way to get you to talk but that, was it! Actually no, he'd tell JJ but in the comfort of their room away from any prying eyes. But again, sh! Yuri looked around the room, looking for his best friend and saw he was barely walking in.

"Yuri!"

Yuri walked over to the voice that had called his name and hugged Otabek. Despite having seen him earlier, Yuri had missed him. They hadn't had much time to talk with one another after the ceremony. He knew Otabek had seen JJ talking with him before walking onto the podium. No doubt he'd ask some questions but wouldn't push for answers. He'd give him time to go over the situation on his own before asking if he needed a helping hand. Yuri was grateful.

"You know, he's been staring at you," Otabek whispered as he bent down to get some water.

 

"Who?"

 

"JJ."

 

Yuri turned and sure enough spotted JJ looking at him with a small smile.

 

"You should ask him to dance."

 

"What?! No."

 

"Yuri, be nice. Go ask him to dance."

 

"No."

 

"Shy?"

 

Yuri looked to the ground, "kinda."

 

"You shouldn't be."

 

"That does nothing to ease my nerves."

 

Otabek smiles and pushes Yuri toward JJ's direction.

 

JJ decides to meet Yuri halfway and extends his arm out. "Care to dance?"

 

Yuri quietly laughs, "I was coming to ask you that same question."

 

JJ takes Yuri's hand in his and brings him closer wrapping an arm around him to guide him through the dance. The others in the room turn to look at them in surprise but soon ignore them. They figured that Otabek asked him to be nice tonight.

 

"You know," JJ whispers into Yuri's ear, "you never answered my question."

 

Yuri tried to suppress the shivers that went through his body but failed. He was sure that JJ must've noticed given his hold tightened on him some more. "Which one?"

 

"Do you want me to be a part of the pole dancing competition?"

 

"I- No. I want a private show, just between you and I."

 

"A private show? My- my Yuri, aren't you being a bit bold?"

 

"Dumbass!"

 

JJ laughed, before leaning in closer to his ear, "I never said it was a bad thing, Yuri. I was trying to use your outburst to make others believe you're mad. Forgive me?"

 

Yuri looked around and saw they were in a secluded area away from the crowd. No one wanted to get near in case they wanted to face his wrath and let out a breath. "Please don't use me again like that but thank you for getting us away from the crowd."

 

"It's my pleasure. It was starting to become stuffy. I felt like I could barely breathe myself."

 

''The king was feeling stuffy? Aren't kings supposed to love being surrounded by big crowds?"

 

"It can be fun, like when they're chanting your name. The cheers act as a motivator to do better on the ice, don't think I forgot about your text either. It was a huge motivator."

 

"Don't get used to it JJ."

 

"Don't get used to what exactly? Expecting kisses at the end of your messages or you sending me encouraging text messages?"

 

Yuri blushed. Why did JJ have to bring up the 'x' from his text? But then again, he couldn't complain either since he did bring up the private pole dance. He opted not to answer and stared out the window.

 

"You know, you'd look magnificent wearing a dress?"

 

"What?"

 

"You'd look magnificent wearing a dress."

 

"What brought that up?"

 

"I was looking at you, and my brain imagined you in a dress."

 

"Well isn't that random."

 

"It's true though. Maybe you could wear a strapless or an off-shoulder dress someday. You could curl your hair or wear it up perhaps."

 

"JJ, where would I even go that will require me to wear a dress?"

 

"I don't know. Can we forget I said something?"

 

Yuri didn't want to let it go though he wanted to talk about it some more but in the end, changed the topic.

 

"Go to Russia with me."

 

"What? Why?"

 

"Spend Christmas day with me."

 

JJ stared at Yuri, not knowing what to say. Here was his crush, asking him to go to Russia and spend Christmas day with him. He briefly wondered if he was dreaming before he looked back at Yuri.

 

"I- Can I think about it and give you an answer tomorrow?"

 

"Sure, but don't think about it too long. I leave tomorrow," Yuri stood on his tip-toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

 

JJ pressed his hand to his cheek, looking at Yuri. Yuri smiled and walked back to where Lilia, Yakov, and Otabek were now talking with Victor and Yuuri.

 

"His lips were warm and soft," he thought to himself.

-

JJ paced in his room that night, wondering if he should go to Russia with Yuri. Thoughts swirled his head about why he'd invite him, what they'd do if he went and how'd it be if he were to meet his family. His family. JJ forgot that he would be missing Christmas with his family. He looked over at the clock on the nightstand next to the bed and saw his phone was indicating he had a message.

 

"Hey JJ, your father and I decided to leave early to go back home. Yuri told us he asked you to go with him to Russia for Christmas and we think you should go. Perhaps we can reunite for New Year's! Spend some time with him JJ. By the way, is he going to be my son-in-law someday?"

 

"Why are my parents like this," he wondered. But they had said that he should go. So he decided to do so, he packed his suitcase and left his hotel room. A few minutes later, he was in front of Yuri's room and knocked on the door. He waited for a few moments before knocking once more on the door.

 

Finally, after a minute, Yuri opened the door yawning. "JJ, is everything okay?"

 

"Huh, oh-uh yeah. I'm sorry, I didn't look at the time before I came to tell you yes."

 

"Yes, what?"

 

"I'll go with you to Russia."

 

Yuri fully woke up after hearing that. "Come inside."

 

JJ walked inside his hotel room and couldn't help but hug Yuri as soon as the door closed. He held him close against his body, breathing in his scent before letting go.

 

"I'm sorry, I just couldn't help myself."

Yuri looked at him and gave him a hug of his own. "It's okay. I wanted to jump hug you when you said you'd go with me. You don't need to worry about the ticket by the way. Mila decided to go to Barcelona to spend some time with Sara."

 

"So you have a free ticket for me?"

 

"Of course. You'll be sitting next to me on the plane."

 

JJ was happy. He was going to Russia with his- the Russian fairy. He couldn't wait to go and meet his family, see how Yuri lived and be able to spend Christmas day with him. Now the only question that remained was, will JJ be able to find a gift for him without spoiling it?

 

"Hey, JJ? Since you're here and we don't leave for another three hours, could we maybe...," Yuri mumbled the last of his question.

 

"Could we maybe, what?"

 

Yuri pressed his lips together before speaking. "Cuddle?"

 

"Of course!"

 

JJ walked over and laid on the bed, motioning for Yuri to do the same. He walked over and let JJ pull him against his body. He felt JJ wrap his arm around his waist while the other cradled his head. His hand was running through Yuri's soft hair as Yuri wrapped an arm around JJ in return. In three hours, both would go down to catch a taxi that'd take them to the airport.

 

_For now, the two cuddled in bed together. Happy._


End file.
